During our training classes, we try to convey the importance of effective feedback aimed at either strengthening confidence or improving effectiveness. I feel it’s an important part of learning. We encourage participants to give each other feedback and set aside time once a week with one of the trainers to both give and receive feedback.
For some reason, most people tend to give very ineffective feedback such as “I think that’s good” or “I think you’re lazy”. Breaking these bad habits of giving feedback based on some value or belief judgements is hard to do and is worth the time and effort to unwind. Part of the trick is at least helping people realise when they’re giving ineffective feedback. Helping them formulate effective feedback is the next step.
I have been trained to give feedback with my feelings, instead of my thoughts, and to focus on a behaviour in a “I” perspective (Not the group thinks like).
The structure of the feedback is:
When you …
I feel that …
This causes …
I wish that …
The “I Feel” makes it hard to argue is a true statement…
I also think that it is important to educate my team on feedback reactions.
The Feedback reaction staircase looks likes follows (hopfully it will not be trashed in the formatting … oh well )
___________________
___________|Continue or Change
________|Understand
_______|Explain
_______|Defend
Reject|
The idea here is that it is important to be able to “catch” feedback in the two uppermost steps, ie it is better to Understand the feedback that to Reject, Defend or Explain your behaviour. It is very easy to start explaining your behaviour.
Examples:
Change – ”I think that was good feedback, I will try to change my behaviour, could you help?”
Continiue – ”I think I have undersood your feedback but I will continue as before because … ”
Understand – ”Yes I understand. Could you explain a bit further..”
Explain – ”Yes, but it was because I was tired”
Defend – ”No, you misunderstood”
Reject – ”I Do not care!”
(This is from the ugl.biz courses)
That’s a great model. Thanks for sharing it with me.