A Guide to Receiving Feedback Part V: Thank Them For Their Feedback
When someone gives you feedback (even if it’s not wrapped completely effectively), it’s important to thank them for taking the time to do so. As long as you uncover the important elements of effective feedback together, and agree on actions helping you Strengthen Confidence and Improve Effectiveness, then you personally benefited from the situation.
Avoid the need to justify every single part of the feedback and start with a “Thanks!” Acknowledging the person trying to help you goes a long way. Affirming the value of each piece of feedback helps the donor feel at ease. It assures them you are listening and aren’t reacting badly to their feedback. Creating this safe environment for the donor lets them focus on giving effective feedback, boosting their confidence as they continue with the rest of the feedback.
There’s no need to go all gushy and shower them with gratitudes. Start simple, using short positive affirmations, indicating to the donor you are listening to their feedback focusing on what it is they are trying to tell you.
Effective feedback takes time to give, and as a recipient you should thank the donor for taking their time to help you strengthen your confidence or improve your effectiveness.
Picture above comes from Fave’s Flickr stream under the Creative Commons licence
As an example, when you’re out skiing, applying actions from feedback will improve your effectiveness the most by applying it immediately. It may take some time to master it, to change conscious behaviour but it’s only useful if you do it while you’re on the slopes, not when you’re back from your skiing holiday.
The biggest mistake when giving feedback is telling someone what to do (or what not to do). Ever been on the receiving end of feedback like that? Do you immediately recoil and feel yourself saying no? It’s natural because you don’t know how following their recommendation makes you more effective. When someone recommends a specific action, unwind the (ineffective) feedback to see how they ended at their recommendation. Find out what key behaviour triggered they observed and what impact it had. Here’s how you might do it:
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Let’s be honest. People aren’t used to hearing feedback, let alone listening out for characteristics of effective feedback. It’s easy to jump to feeling defensive and trying to justify everything and look for reasons why you behaved as you did. People with backgrounds in programming are also often quick to apply the labels: “Good” and “Bad”.
I’m writing this guide to answer a question a trusted colleague asked me the other day. I think there are plenty of resources for how to give effective feedback (I’ve written a few myself) yet I can’t find as many about the other end, or how to go about receiving feedback. I’m planning on writing a series of these posts, so my first tip in this series is: Ask For Feedback.